Blurry. This picture is but my memory isn’t.
Exhaustion, yes. Not just from labor, but from the entire journey. Ten months that I worked for.
The six who were there to see me give birth…they saw a birth. But they didn’t see 10 months of tests, working out, phone calls for doctors, a whole day spent just for my prenatal appointments, healthy eating, far drives to my chiro, planning, reading, meditating…they didn’t see all it took to be there, in that moment. They didn’t see the demons I fought in my mind while I labor there, thoughts of all those who told me along the way, that this couldn’t be done. Thoughts so real, I could see in my mind those people who told me I couldn’t who I constantly had to tell ‘NO!’ for fear of losing concentration during labor.
But that day they saw my baby be born. That day they saw a mother hold her fourth child, the one child she held immediately after birth. That day they saw a mother at what may have seemed like her weakest point. Yelling, groaning and screaming to bring forth life.
But that day. They didn’t realize. When that baby was born, so was I.
A person who was so afraid…who did what so many said she shouldn’t.
It may be seem everyday to them, but it was life changing for me.
Years have gone by but not one day has that I have not thought of this moment. THIS MOMENT friends. It will change your life. Don’t give up. Don’t give into the demons of fear and discouragement. You’ve always been strong enough. Now believe it.