I decided to write a book after the birth of my fourth child because honestly, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had worked so hard towards my VBA3C. It seemed weird, even with four kids to not have something to work on and prepare, besides normal life. My heart was overwhelmed with God’s goodness and love for me and I knew I wanted to share more of not just my story, but I really believe this is all about Him.
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Why Not Worship

You guys, I’m telling you.

My week has been crazy. I’m not really trying to exaggerate. I’m not.

Kids with colds, a baby who somehow has invisible Velcro attached to her and I go to set her down and I can’t remove her from my clothing (teething?), and a loving husband who has been working 14+ hour days. And me too. Working a lot, not taking many breaks and just wanting to be upset, tired. Feeling maxed out. I try to pick up around the house, the kids help a lot. But I turn around and there is any number of things strewn forth from the cabinets. Food thrown on the floor. Hair snot-glued to someone’s face. A dryer with a fork down the vent, puzzle pieces down the vent that goes to the heater. I have always wondered how this stuff could happen. Aren’t people watching their kids? Well, no. We aren’t. Because we are taking care of other kids and their needs and things get missed! Like forks in the dryer vent! Argghh that retrieval was an all evening project.

Stuff is never ‘done.’ Always something more to do. I like my stuff done. I like my house clean and I have had to give that up lately. Because I can’t do it right now.

I’m sure I’m not alone. I never ever knew how hard mothering could be. It’s awesome, don’t get me wrong. I would not choose anything else. I dreamed of this all the days of my life.

But in the thick of it, it’s trying. It’s a dying to self. It’s a way for God to chip away the selfish parts of me, the parts that aren’t patient, aren’t kind. Causing me to reach deep within and to grasp the strength that only God provides.

We have a surround sound system in our house. My husband put it in our budget when we were building without even asking me…because he knows my love for all things music. And I’m so glad he did that. I’m serious. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

But then this week I realized, with myself flying around to try to provide care for not feeling good kids, food, clean clothes, school and just life…I had not turned on any music. I was just trying to get through as fast as I could.

And I realized my soul felt off. I had read my Bible to the kids. We listened to the Bible on surround sound. We prayed.

I missed my music. I needed the worship.

Not because of a catchy tune or a catchy beat. What I needed was to stop and be quiet and think about God.

So that’s what I did. I turned on the music. Let the kids do what they wanted and I focused on God.

I focused on His goodness, His kindness. His gentleness.

He’s not a slave driver.

He doesn’t expect me to be super mom.

He doesn’t expect me to be perfect.

He doesn’t expect me to figure it out.

All I need to do is seek Him and His Kingdom and righteousness. That’s it.

And the rest. Well, He said he would take care of it. All I need to do is trust Him. That’s it.

Sounds, pretty simple. Why am I making this harder than it is?

A child struggling in school? Seek Him.

A job that you desperately need? Seek Him.

Health, healing. Seek Him.

Questions unanswered. Seek Him.

Seek Him and His kingdom and His righteousness.

And then I found great relief. All because I chose to stop. And realize. My God. My great, great God will take care of me. He will take care of the concerns on my mind and my heart. He loves me. I can live in the moment. I can live and enjoy life in the chaos.

These days will pass is what I’m told. These are the best days. I don’t want to get lost in the everyday and miss the spectacular gift of being entrusted with four children. To love and be with and share great truths with.

I sat in the baby’s room later that day. We were rocking in the rocking chair, snuggled under a blanket. Listening again to worship music. And I looked out the window, the snow softly falling. And I chose to check myself.



What about the woman who wants to be a mother who isn’t?

What about the person desperately searching for a job?

What about that one who is homeless?

What about that one who is hungry? Someone who is lonely?

I decided I can choose to look up at Him. Look at who He is and His goodness.

And I can be thankful.

With music on or off I can choose to worship. Because worship isn’t really about music anyway. It’s about a life lived in adoration of God, no matter the circumstances big or small, hard or easy. Worship is bowing down in our hearts and lives in the greatness of our God.

So, is there a lot on your list? Is there a lot of tasks before you? Are there a lot of things you think you need the answers for? Trying to figure this and that out?

Let us all hold to the promise. Our answer is Him. He is the answer. We find all we need in Him.

Seek first the Kingdom.




Written by Jaimie

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